You know how they say that moving is one of the most stressful things a person can go through? I always assumed that it was because of the literal move because moving is the worst. But yesterday I saw another side of the process that made the moving part seem like a piece of delicious cake. Since December Kurt and I have had our eyes and hearts on a condo. Since December we have been visualising it as our home, imagining the way we would spend our days there and the renovations we would do. We spent almost three months thinking about the life we would start together in that home and yesterday it felt like our home was taken away from us. The home was a foreclosure, which has a bit of a different purchase process, but I was told not to worry. It was our offer the bank accepted weeks ago. And from what we were led to believe, odds were very high that it would be our home as of March 13th. When we walked into the courtroom yesterday morning I couldn’t believe the number of people who had shown up to outbid us. The rest of the morning was just a nauseas and disappointed haze. I don’t even know who got the place. I don’t care, all I know is that it wasn’t us.
While not getting what we thought was surely ours hurts so badly, the fact that we didn’t have a Plan B is some serious salt on the wound. It cuts me especially deep because I always have a Plan B…and a Plan C and D too, just in case. But this time I didn’t. I listened to all the people that assured me that no one else would show up to court. Against the way my brain naturally works, I tried not to see what could go wrong and focus only on the positive and what could go right. Today I am kicking myself for abandoning my realism when there was so much at stake. Our expectations weren’t properly managed and I can only blame myself for not doing the due diligence and research and for being so naive in not realizing this condo was too good to be true. But, shoulda woulda coulda, right?
Today I’m going to help Kurt move his stuff into storage and clean out his condo. He’s going to stay with me for a couple weeks until we figure out what do next. Maybe he’ll rent on his own or we’ll rent together or we’ll continue looking to buy. Honestly I don’t even know. Oh well. Onward and upward I suppose. Time for a new Plan A.