Yesterday Sucked

You know how they say that moving  is one of the most stressful things a person can go through? I always assumed that it was because of the literal move because moving is the worst. But yesterday I saw another side of the process that made the moving part seem like a piece of delicious cake. Since December Kurt and I have had our eyes and hearts on a condo. Since December we have been visualising it as our home, imagining the way we would spend our days there and the renovations we would do. We spent almost three months thinking about the life we would start together in that home and yesterday it felt like our home was taken away from us. The home was a foreclosure, which has a bit of a different purchase process, but I was told not to worry. It was our offer the bank accepted weeks ago. And from what we were led to believe, odds were very high that it would be our home as of March 13th. When we walked into the courtroom yesterday morning I couldn’t believe the number of people who had shown up to outbid us. The rest of the morning was just a nauseas and disappointed haze. I don’t even know who got the place. I don’t care, all I know is that it wasn’t us.

While not getting what we thought was surely ours hurts so badly, the fact that we didn’t have a Plan B is some serious salt on the wound. It cuts me especially deep because I always have a Plan B…and a Plan C and D too, just in case. But this time I didn’t. I listened to all the people that assured me that no one else would show up to court. Against the way my brain naturally works, I tried not to see what could go wrong and focus only on the positive and what could go right. Today I am kicking myself for abandoning my realism when there was so much at stake. Our expectations weren’t properly managed and I can only blame myself for not doing the due diligence and research and for being so naive in not realizing this condo was too good to be true. But, shoulda woulda coulda, right?

Today I’m going to help Kurt move his stuff into storage and clean out his condo. He’s going to stay with me for a couple weeks until we figure out what do next. Maybe he’ll rent on his own or we’ll rent together or we’ll continue looking to buy. Honestly I don’t even know. Oh well. Onward and upward I suppose. Time for a new Plan A.

Countdown to the End of Living Alone

On Saturday, January 12, 2013 I was doing my usual Saturday morning thing: listening to CBC, drinking coffee, and reading the internet. I came across this article in the Globe and Mail about the growing trend of living alone. I liked it. I tweeted it. Kurt saw it and we spent an hour DM’ing back and forth on the perks of living solo. We had never met at that point. It was foreshadowing to today.

Tomorrow we find out about a condo–both if and when we get it. If all goes according to plan, we will take possession on March 13th. But it could be later than that and we could not even get it all. Either way, Kurt is moving out of his place and taking up residence in my little basement suite for a currently unknown amount of time.

I’m so excited for this next step, after 13 months I’m ready for it. I want to see him every day, even the busy ones. Especially the busy ones. I want to cook for him all the time. I want to laugh with him when I’m feelign silly and just be next to him when I’m feeling quiet. I’m so excited to be laying down roots with this wonderful man. That said, I am feeling a bit pre-emptively nostalgic for the 5 years I’ve spent living on my own.

I just need to wax poetic for a minute.

I’ve lived alone since March 2009 and I loved it since day one. I love taking up the entire bed and being in charge of all the organising. I love singing off key and dancing extremely poorly and not feeling shame. I love keeping the heat on high and listening to whatever I want whenever I want. I love having the option of not interacting with another human for an entire weekend and acting like a complete sloth in private. I love eating a wheel of brie for dinner and not having anyone pass judgement. I love talking to myself and practising all the things I should have said. There is so much about living alone that I love, but more than any of it I love Kurt and the idea of our life together.

Okay. I’m done now. I could go on, but I’ve got a dinner date with my future room-mate.

Happy Monday

Often my weeks are pretty balanced. I manage to fit in socializing and downtime, outdoor activities and indoor relaxation, delicious food and physical fitness and spend equal parts out and about and laying low at home. Often nothing is out of the ordinary, but everything is wonderful. Last week was not like that at all, but it was just as wonderful. Last week was full. Last week had something awesome and exciting and out of the ordinary every day. It was filled with great food and birthdays and old friends and new babies and a Paul Simon (and Sting) concert! As much as I love routine and ordinary, last week was one of the best weeks of the year. 

For your eyes: When I first realised what a blog was back in 2010 (I was late to the game, I know) I almost exclusively read dating blogs. Over the years many of these bloggers have paired up or slowed down their writing for whatever reason, so I’m always on the look out for new ones. This one is great….and if any of you know of any good ones, I’d love to hear about them!

For your ears: So Paul Simon is a musical genius and I love him for life, but Sting is actually kind of good too. When he sang this song on Thursday night it was perfect.

For your health: Hot water and lemon first thing in the morning. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, and if you’re like me then you’ve considered it before too, but not done it because you’re hungry for food or desperate for coffee or rushed for work or just couldn’t be bothered. I finally committed this to my routine last week and the benefits have been immediate. Try it and commit to it. Seriously.

For the win: Singing and dancing to Obvious Child with Katie and Megan, while Kurt, Nate and Trev stood next to us smiling in disbelief at our choreographed dance routine.

The Cross is in the Ball Park

Paul Simon is playing in Vancouver tonight. In about 12 hours I’m going to be singing and dancing my heart out with some of my best people. Hopefully he plays this song because it is my favourite song of all time probably. I love Paul Simon. 

Sting will be there too.

Completed: 6 Week Fitness Challenge

A few weeks ago, six weeks ago in fact, I shared that I had created my own fitness challenge.  The idea was simple: to spend at least 30 minutes every day exercising. The goal was to bring regular exercise back into my life and fall back into the habit of making time for it after fitness fell from my priority list over the course of last year. Overall I would say it was: Meh. 

Pros

  • I accomplished my goal, exercise has absolutely become a more important part of my routine again
  • I think that it’s a possibility that I have maybe gotten a bit stronger (?)
  • I discovered YogaGlo, a website that streams yoga classes in different lengths, styles and with different intentions. I absolutely love it.

Cons

  • Because I set the parameters as 30 minutes of activity and nothing else, I often found myself doing the minimum instead of actually working hard
  • Sometimes it’s really hard to fit in even 30 minutes. Sometimes you have to work long days and have evening commitments, and until someone finds a fitness routine that does dishes and laundry, it just isn’t going to happen every day. In the 6 weeks, there were 6 days when I just couldn’t do it
  • I don’t think I’m in better shape than I was when I started

So that’s that. It’s off, though it required so little effort from me it never felt like it was really on. I’m not sure if I would ever do this again…maybe for three weeks of recovery after a big race, but not as my regular activity. I need more challenge. You live you learn, right?

The next fitness challenge starts February 24th….

Happy Monday

Good week? Good week. Normal week. Mellow week. I worked a lot, I exercised, I hung out with Kurt a bit and by myself a bit. I went on a hike with Megs and a trail run with Katie. I watched a lot of sports. Valentine’s Day happened and that was fun and romantic, but life with Kurt is all around fun and romantic. Yeah. I’m just going to get right into it.

For your eyes: I haven’t always been an Olympics person, in fact I’ve been a very anti-Olympics person in the past. But I’ve been kinda digging them this year. The sportsmanship that’s been occurring is enough to move me to tears (I move to tears easily). I’m especially proud of Canadians, Buzzfeed spells how great my countrymen and women are here. I cried three times in this article, how about you?

For your ears:  This is the best album of all time. #foreshadowing

For your health: I have come to the realization that I have a severe sugar addiction. I have no will power. Last week my boss brought a Costco-size tin of Almond Roca into the office after a trip and I’m not exaggerating when I tell you I ate at least half of it in 4 days. I need tips, advice, anything that will help me say no to sugar. Seriously. Help.

For the win: The obvious highlight would be lilies and ice skating and dinner at Ferris’ Upstairs and House of Cards with Kurt on Valentine’s Day. The less obvious highlight would be hiking Mount Work with Megs in the pouring rain. Under the tree cover we weren’t feeling it so much, but we could certainly hear it. At one point she said, It sounds like applause. And we both stopped right there and took a moment to curtsey and bow and thank our adoring fans. I’m so glad my friends are as weird as I am.

Some love lessons I’ve learned

1. Just because someone is your best friend, doesn’t mean it’s going to work out romantically, but the guy it works out romantically with will be your best friend.

2. If diamond fireworks go off and sparkly butterflies fly the first time you lock eyes, well, that means nothing. You are not destined to be together or guaranteed magical compatibility. Don’t let those butterflies and fireworks carry more weight than they’re worth.

3. Honesty is the only thing. Of course you shouldn’t say you’re cool with casual when you want more, or vice versa. But you also have to be honest about your needs. I’m a weirdo and need a lot of space and a lot of affection at the same time. In the past I’ve downplayed one or the other, always with hurtful results. Honesty is best.

4. Like it or not, you have a type. And if you date different versions of the same aloof and grumpy creative genius over and over again and it never works out, why not try your hand at the super positive and funny guy with kind eyes who possesses both ambition and tenderness? Not to personalize or anything.

5. “Guys like us, we enthral and then we disappoint.” — Ted Danson’s character in the first episode of Bored to Death. This is an actual breed of man that exists in life. They are the worst.

6. The female half of one of the best relationships I know has said that no matter how she feels, she will always try to fix her hair or throw on some blush before her husband gets home. She knows how lucky she is and she wants him to get the best version of herself. If you have a partner who makes you feel so lucky every single day, you have to put a little extra effort in. Give longer back rubs, make home cooked meals, show your appreciation and treat them the way they deserve. I need to do this more.

7. There are a lot of awesome things about being single, most notably, doing whatever the f*ck you want. Take advantage of that, because you’re not going to be single forever. Tomorrow might be the day you meet the love of your life.

8. The Price of Admission from Dan Savage. This short video changed my life. Everyone who is in a relationship or ever wants to be should watch this video: