As comfortable as I am settling into my 30’s (I’ll be 33 in a couple of weeks), I have to admit, there are parts of my youth I’m having a hard time leaving behind. Over the last six months I’ve been struggling on and off with how boring I feel. How boring my life has become. I realise how ungrateful I sound. My life is awesome. But it’s been awfully low key for awhile now.
I didn’t start the 9-5 lifestyle until I was 26, which is late but I was still the first of my friends. And having to be all bright eyed and keen first thing in the morning, did not stop me from keeping up my late-night, mid-week, super fun socializing. At least in the beginning. I remember the first time I said no to a mid-week social event. It felt like I was breaking up with the world I knew, like I was about to be left behind. But I survived and from there my homebody ways spiralled out of control.
By the time I was in my 30’s, most of my friends had eventually gotten day jobs and the FOMO subsided (are you allowed to use that word at my age? I’m not even sure). My routine was ruled by that 6:30AM alarm, but so was everybody else’s. For awhile I lived for the weekends, but even then the parties became less fun. Actually that’s not true. The parties were just as fun, it’s the next days that became unbearable. Over the last few years, my definition of fun has changed and it’s taking some getting used to.
But not only that, as I grow in my career my work days have become more challenging and full. I work harder and longer. There is more at stake. These days there isn’t always the emotional and mental room to do much after work, other than binge watch The Good Wife and eat cheese.
And all too often, this is what my life has become. I go to work. I work out (I will save a rant about my slowed down metabolism for another day). I watch TV and hang with Kurt. Sometimes I see my friends too. It’s not to say it’s not wonderful or that I’m not fulfilled. I am. But sometimes it’s just boring. I’m boring.
I know what you’re thinking, Shut up Colleen. And you’re right. My life is boring because I allow it to be. If I want it to be more exciting I have to get off the couch and do something. I need to turn on the number one of all time best dance song full blast and figure it out, redefine what excitement means to me.
So I will. Luckily for me it’s May.